Chapter 1

Jason hated nothing else in life with the same intensity that he hated the TSA. Unfortunately for him, his deep-seated disgust with the organization was only growing today. Sure, in the back of his head, he knew he could blame the road construction that took up a good third of his route to the airport. He could blame the Uber driver for constantly asking him where to go instead of just using the goddamn GPS in front of his face. He could blame his roommate for deciding to take the longest shower known to man this morning. Dare he possibly even blame himself for not setting an earlier alarm? No. Right now, Jason wouldn’t even consider blaming those other delays. Right now, everything in his way to his soon-to-depart plane was TSA’s fault.

He had been in the never-ending TSA line for thirty minutes already, but the sweat he built up running there was still putting pit stains on his green Hawaiian shirt. He was also starting to feel the straps of his worn-out backpack forming damp stripes of sweat underneath. Jason was never a big fan of the heat, and this was the primary reason. There was nothing he could do to stop his body from producing more sweat if it even had an inkling of warm weather. It’s why he kept his dark hair short and his beard trimmed tight. The sweat buildup was bad enough in his pits and shoulders; he didn’t need more on his head and face.

In his left hand, Jason clutched the handle of his carry-on-sized suitcase, and in his right, he kept swiping his readied boarding pass with his thumb to ensure the phone wouldn’t go to sleep. His phone’s battery would simply have to put up with staying awake for TSA. The line finally moved again, and he was able to take another step forward. Only one family group ahead of him now.

“This wedding had better be worth the sweat,” thought Jason. It had all been very last-minute. Well, not the wedding so much as Jason’s attendance. His friends Greg and David had their cruise ship wedding planned for over a year now. But unfortunately, Jason simply didn’t have the money to be able to go. That is, until a week ago, when the designated photographer caught COVID. So now the new, amateur photographer for G&D’s wedding was sweating in line for a TSA check before boarding a flight to Orlando. Orlando: the land of Disney.

Greg was quite the Disney fan. So much so that he had insisted on getting married on one of Walt’s gigantic cruise vessels. David would agree to marriage anywhere, so it certainly wasn’t any issue for him to accept the newest boat in Disney’s cruise lineup: the Wish. Very fitting, actually, because when Jason heard of the plans, he had wished heavily that he could afford to go. And somehow, after months of wishing, it came true. Jason simply needed to board that plane first.

Finally, it was Jason’s turn. The TSA agent waved him forward. Suddenly, he realized that his phone had gone to sleep, so he started walking forward clumsily with his baggage while trying to get his phone to recognize his now anxious face. It kept vibrating in disagreement over his facial contours. It must not have been used to his frown of annoyance.

“Boarding pass, sir,” said the TSA agent in the most monotone voice possible.

Jason stopped finally, made his face go platonic, and aimed his phone directly at himself again to finally overcome the barrier of recognition. His boarding pass finally opened up, and he placed it on the scanner. The TSA agent took Jason’s driver’s license and started studying it. Five seconds of examination felt like five minutes. Finally, the agent handed his license back and waved him by. The baggage scanning took just as long. Jason started undoing his belt and had it halfway off before another agent abruptly yelled at him.

“Belts do NOT need to come off!” screamed the second agent sternly.

“Sorry,” Jason said, “I’m just used to having to take this off at the other air-”

“As I said, belts do NOT need to come off!”

Jason slowly re-buckled his belt while staring the aggravating agent directly in the eyes. He slowly stepped through the scanner, raised his arms, and waited for that wonky plastic arm thing to rotate around him. His face was bland with annoyance while he waited for the third agent to lower his hand. Finally, the stop sign of a hand in front of him lowered, and Jason was able to walk over to his baggage. He grabbed his bag, pocketed his phone, and slipped on his shoes before returning to a sprint towards gate E54.

“Final boarding for flight 815. Final boarding for flight 815. Please come to the gate immediately,” was announced over the intercom. Jason rounded a corner and started reading every gate number he passed. E36, E38, E40… It felt like this home stretch of a run would never end. The other people at this airport didn’t feel the intensity that he had right now. Why couldn’t they all adhere to the standard walk-on-the-right-side-of-the-aisle policy like normal goddamn Americans!? E42, E44, E46. He could taste the success of getting there now. E48, E50, E52…

“Wow, you just barely made it, sir,” said the front desk employee. Jason was too out of breath to respond. He placed his boarding pass phone on the scanner, heard the beep, and started walking down the tunnel with the least energetic amount of victory feeling inside him. Other passengers seemed taken aback by his large sweat stains, but in the moment, Jason thought they were looking upon him with admiration and respect. He made it, and they were proud. As far as Jason was concerned, nothing short of a terrorist takeover could stop him now. Orlando was only four hours away.

“Sweaty pits boy, over here!”

Jason looked up to see David hopping up and down at baggage claim and waving his hand to greet him. David wore a white and blue striped polo with salmon colored short shorts. His gold-rimmed sunglasses rested nicely on top of his frosted tips hairstyle. Next to him was Greg on his phone, talking very slowly to someone with directions. His jean shorts and mountaineering backpack somewhat clashed with his partner’s style. That is, until Jason noticed that he was wearing one of those t-shirts that you get at a theme park from someone who spray paints it while you wait to hand over a tip, all while maintaining a fake smile of satisfaction. This one had an enlarged-headed cartoon version of Greg hugging Genie from Aladdin.

Greg finally made eye contact with Jason while he walked towards them. He simply raised his eyebrows while waving with his left arm, all the while maintaining his phone conversation with his right. David grabbed Jason with a big hug before he could even put his carry-on down.

“Oh god, you really don’t want my sweat on you right now.”

“I’ll squeeze all the goddamn sweat out of you, Mr. Photographer!” replied David with glee in his voice. “We’re both so glad you could make it. Aren’t we, honey?”

Greg, unsure what was going on, looked up from his phone convo for a moment and replied with a simple thumbs up. It didn’t bother Jason, but David was clearly annoyed that Greg couldn’t leave the call to greet their friend.

“Don’t mind him,” David said. “He’s on the phone with his uncle, who doesn’t seem to understand that terminals are usually separate buildings. Good ole Uncle Peyton seems afraid of using public transportation.”

“No worries. Everyone’s got at least one Uncle Peyton to deal with,” replied Jason. “So what are we doing? Grabbing an Uber or something to get to the port?”

“Yeah, we figured an Uber split between us would be the cheapest option.”

“Cool, sounds good.”

Jason might have said that, but deep down, he had the internal angst of yet another expense. Sure, it’s going to be split, but how exactly? Three ways between Jason, David, and Greg, or two ways between Jason and David & Greg? This was a constant single life problem that Jason had grown accustomed to. The only single guy in a group of now early 30s couples often caused him to somehow owe more during group outings. Oh, but it’s different since couples often share things… yeah, right. And the distance wasn’t short, so was this going to be another $30 out of pocket or another $50? No matter what the price, he had nobody to complain to about it all anyway.

“Sorry about that.” Greg finally interrupted Jason’s inner rant. “My Uncle acts more like my great-grandfather when it comes to things he hasn’t seen yet in person.”

“He’s perplexed by rail lines, but you’re not worried about him getting on a cruise ship for a week?” replied Jason.

“I mean, the man was in the navy.”

“The navy is great and all,” said David, “but we’re talking about a DISNEY boat this time.”

The three guys left baggage claim with their luggage and only had to wait a few minutes for their Uber to arrive. David and Jason sat in the back to let Greg have the extra leg room in the front passenger seat. Both knew they’d have never hear the end of it had they not. Their driver was middle-aged, quiet, and luckily not the type that would ask her passengers for directions. Jason glanced at the GPS to see that this was going to be a forty-five-minute drive.

“So here’s the breakdown,” said Greg while looking at a list on his phone. “We’ll board once we get there. That should probably take around an hour and change to get on the boat and to the lobby. Then we can all go to our rooms to drop our stuff off. David and I are on the starboard side.”

“Is that the front or the back?” replied David.

“I know you’re just asking that to trigger me.” David was, of course, and gave a grin to Jason to make it clear. “As I was saying,” continued Greg, “we are on the RIGHT side of the ship on level twelve. Jason, you’re actually in the back on level...”

Jason interrupted, “Don’t you mean the stern?” Another cheeky grin from David.

The only thing that was truly stern now was Greg’s tone of voice. “Can you please let me get through at least one paragraph?”

“Yes, Captain,” said David while doing a salute.

“So after we drop off our bags, we should meet up at the cafeteria and get some lunch. At seven, we have to meet the main guy for organizing the ceremony. You can come if you want, Jason, but it might be boring. Then it’s just whatever until we go to bed. Tomorrow is very open, but I was hoping to check out the fantasy theater. I believe it has at least twenty-five different costumed characters all in a musical together.”

“That’s the real reason I came along,” said Jason.

“And then the next day is when we get stressed out with the ceremony,” said Greg.

“Aww, love you too, honey.”

“I mean, obviously, it is the greatest day. But it is also going to be a stressful one, and you know it. We have to get dressed in our tiny rooms, make sure the right people have the rings, pretend we know how to dance, find…”

“Excuse me, I am an amazing dancer,” exclaimed David while grabbing Greg’s chair.

“That’s why I said WE. Pretend WE know how to dance.”

“You guys haven’t just practiced at home?” asked Jason.

“It’s different on a boat, Jason,” said Greg. Jason just widened his eyes and turned to look out the window. “The biggest stress is going to be dealing with our relatives. Uncle Peyton is just the tip of the iceberg.”

“Speaking of icebergs,” said David before switching to a bad British accent, “Disney Wish cruise ship dead ahead!” David pointed out the window, and Jason awkwardly maneuvered to see what suddenly showed up as the tree line cleared.

It was massive. Jason had never been on a cruise ship before, only small boats on lakes. He’d only ever seen them in pictures or on YouTube as tour videos. But nothing he’d seen on his phone really put it into perspective. This thing was HUGE. It was like someone put a skyscraper on its side and dropped it into the ocean. Greg had told him all the stats a couple of months ago with length, width, height, max capacity, etc, but those numbers just felt like digits on a page. Now he could feel it.

“Good god,” said Jason, “How many people are in this wedding?

Prev: Prologue

Next: Chapter 2