Standing in the blistering heat was Susan’s least favorite part of the job, but today at least she had moderate cloud cover. Ever since she decided to start working on a cruise line, Susan began to find small blessings whenever possible. Sure, it was a very small, countable number of clouds up there today, but damn, she’d take whatever she could to reduce the sweat. Lucky for her, the wooden stand she sat behind came with a mini, battery-powered fan mounted on the front to keep her as cool as a human could possibly hope for in the summer. Not just any summer either; a Bermudian summer.

Today, Susan was stuck on the dock while vacationers got off and on to experience the beaches of the island. Luckily, she was assigned Door C, the farthest option for customers to take, which meant she’d only have to deal with a fraction of the masses that Door A would experience. It was boring, but at least she didn’t have to stop people from bringing unauthorized things back onto the ship. It was never a fun part of the day having to tell Karen that foreign foods could cause problems or that it wasn’t even Disney’s choice. She hated doing that, almost as much as she hated the sun. But now she was lost in thought and boredom. She marked time by how often she had to pull out her handkerchief and wipe the sweat off her forehead. It was about once every two minutes, so by now she’s been out here for, oh, an hour and a half, she’d suppose. Only fifteen more wipes to go until shift change. 

“Ma’am.”

Suddenly, Susan snapped out of her daydreaming and noticed the older man in front of her. His sweaty, balding head was so red she couldn’t stop staring long enough to notice his annoyed grimace. He was holding out his phone with his ticket pulled up. She moved her eyes to the photo on his ticket, then to his sunburnt face, then back to the ticket. He lightly shook his phone while opening his eyes wider and tilting his head with impatience.

“Sorry, sir,” she said, “I just needed to do a quick double-take there. You’re all set to board. Might I recommend our amenities shop on the 13th and 14th levels for some sunscreen.”

He grunted and shuffled past her abruptly. Dear god, when would this ever end? Susan knelt down for a moment to grab her water bottle from inside her wooden stand. Water bottle in name at least. She couldn’t just bring a bottle of labeled vodka down here with her if she expected to keep her job. But how else could she perform her duties to the people of this cruise ship if she couldn’t drink some pep into her step? The slight tingle on her throat as she took a gulp reminded her that she needed a bit of burning pain on the inside to forget the burning pain on her outside.

Her fan stopped. “Shit, are you kidding me?” she said as she pulled it off of the stand. The blue power light was off, so Susan started tapping the one button it had repeatedly. The fan did not feel her desperate need for a tiny breeze and stayed dead. She finally let out a frustrated exhale and bent over to place it inside her wooden stand. 

When she raised back up, Goofy was there. 

Susan was taken aback and lurched briefly before regaining composure. Full costume Goofy was just standing there in his traditional clothing, from giant shoes to poofy gloves to that tall green hat. 

“Oh,” she said, “You startled me a bit.”

Goofy stood silently. His cold, black eyes stared straight ahead into Susan’s startled demeanor. She wasn’t sure why he was there. Usually, characters got on and off the boat from Door D. D for Disney characters, as they liked to say. Otherwise, customers might see Pluto stand up straight, or Minnie Mouse reach for a cigarette. But right now, Goofy was here, with her, at Door C. C for customers only. 

Now that she thought about it, Susan realized that he was alone. That’s the other thing every character needed while being in public: a handler. Some costumes were more difficult than others, of course, but everyone needed a backup to handle lines, cranky customers, and simple direction on where to step when walking on steps or ramps. But Goofy had nobody nearby.

“Where is your handler, Goofy?”

Silence. He didn’t move at all. Susan started glancing in all directions to see if she could find someone else, but it suddenly felt like not a single person was anywhere near. Finally, her eyes made it back to Goofy. She could have sworn he hadn’t moved at all, but now she noticed a knife in his giant, white-gloved hand. Had it been there the whole time? Had she simply not noticed before? Her sweat was getting more severe, and beads of it started suddenly trickling down from her forehead.

“What… what is going on here?”

Goofy swung the knife directly at Susan’s face. Luckily, she leaned back enough to keep it from cutting deep, but it still grazed her cheek. She screamed and grabbed her wooden stand to try to stabilize, but it wasn’t firmly secured to the dock. It came crashing down as Susan landed on her back. Pain shot through her whole body from the blunt force of her landing while vodka splashed everywhere around her.

She tried to stand up as fast as she could, but couldn’t get a grip on the now-wet wood of the dock. Susan slipped and fell back down, only to find that Goofy was now standing directly over her. She looked up at him, only to be blinded by staring directly into the sun until his tiny green hat eclipsed it from her vision. Her pupils adjusted just in time to see Goofy’s smiling grin, floppy ears, and deadpan eyes before he plunged the knife straight into her chest.

She gasped to try and breathe out of her now punctured lung, but could bring no oxygen into her body. Goofy pulled the knife out quickly, paused briefly with the knife in the air, before slamming it into her chest again. This time, he didn’t miss. His knife turned Susan’s heart into Vesuvius as it erupted blood in all directions. 

Susan’s consciousness began to fade as she let her head fall to the side. She didn’t feel pain in her back or chest anymore as she stared down the deck, now covered in blood and vodka. All she saw was a pair of giant, costumed shoes walking away. Each step left a cartoonishly large, bloody footprint as they exited her vision. But luckily, the mini fan had landed on the hardwood. Somehow it had found a way to turn back on again, and it blew subtle comfort over Susan’s face as she closed her eyes.